I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize