maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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