why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
