there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
