chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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