what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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