Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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