Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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