Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
