Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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