ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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