Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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