I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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