I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
