hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
