Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
