trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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