no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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