how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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