Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
