if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
