Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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