So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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