wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize