Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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