I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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