Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
