Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
