I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
