Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize