I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
