Me too!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
