Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
love makes seman taste better
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is the high leading the old right now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
