he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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