Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
