Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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