He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My balls are so social today.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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