If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
