If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
