Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
