I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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