How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
