Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
