Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
