just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
