BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
