exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
