About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
