I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
