ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
