Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
where am i from again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
