just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
