Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
