If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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