i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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