I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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