I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize