as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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