I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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