I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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