A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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