i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's never too late to be topless.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
