I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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